bleak is a just a word to describe what i feel

in the mist of the rain i find that i am drowning in the tears of my own pain...pain that could have been avoided, pain that could have been joy... pain that could have past... but yet the pain lingers, yet the pain creates a flood that sweeps my soul away... away i hope to a better place... because my soul cannot tread water any more and I feel that my soul will drown in the rivers of despair as i take my last breath and sink to the bottom of my etarnal resting place.

Original Posting Monday March 28 2005

final destination

today i find that i see beyond the reach of my sight... you ask how, because my soul has found the path, the path to enlightenment, the path to knowledge, the path to eternal bliss, but the road is only big enough for one, but alas i cannot leave yet, i find that there are those that rely on me, need me. To endure the pain, is to show my love, to sacrifice my happiness is to display my affection, to see there smiles fills my heart with more love and bliss than the path... so was the path an illusion? was the destination a false pretense to what i would eventually find?

Original Posting Thursday July 21 2005

vday?

I live in a diluted land of make believe and fantasy land where I think my ideas of what I want in a relationship is viable, but alas I find that the truth is that if I keep reaching for the stars and all I will find is disappointment, where in truth all I had to do is look down at the reflection in the water and that is where I could touch the stars. I seem to think that the mystery of that ideal woman is more the attraction because the ideal woman is not out in a far away place, its right here, right in front of me, but my fears and my doubts and my heart won’t let it be. I long to be sought after, to return the feeling of the other, but my soul is clouded with confusion, because with love comes pain, but with seclusion comes loneliness, but no pain. I guess the question is… is it better to have loved and have gotten hurt or to never have loved at all?

Original Posting Thursday Feb. 9th 2006

Saturday morning

Ok so its Saturday morning... a bit hungover, but got lots to do, i have freelance to work on and school work... so pretty much a fun saturday morning! but its seeems nice out so maybe go mountain biking...

well hit me up anytime to talk about stuff, hopefully it will be something good!