Strange

Strange to think that memories can attack you! Can bring about emotions that u thought had passed! But a smile, a long soft kiss, the deep stare of her eyes, brings u back to that moment! Then the surge of emotions hit! Not of one specific, but the culmination of time passed! The joy, the anger, the hate, the loneliness, and the love that has perished! The dam that I have carefully built is starting to give! Another storm and I fear that the flood will destroy me!


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Just another rainy day

Who knew that a rainy day can bring so much fun! It let me reminisce about my past, and it let me know more about an interesting girl I met!


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Blink, Blink

Cars honking, with their yellowish blinking lights letting the people behind them know where they are to go. But the irony is that no one is moving. Yet the consistent blinking reminding you that they are heading in that same direction, yet no movement. You play with the radio to try and distract yourself from the rambling ideas in your mind. One that quickly comes to mind is that one of missile launchers on your car, that can clear a nice steady path to your destination. You grip the steering wheel as if your aiming and you hit the imaginary button, you smile for a brief second, when your dream is suddenly disrupted by the genius who thinks his horn is his launch button to his nuclear arsenal located on the back of his hummer. Ha ha, that makes me laugh, that ginormous monstrosity sitting in the same unmoving path. But in all the commercials for the vehicle the car is unstoppable, no matter the obstacle, I guess they didn’t want to show how much fuel that tank would use up idling until it got a chance to show its fierceness… I laugh yet again, he just keeps wailing on that horn, maybe he thinks its some kind of sonic blaster… sorry guy keep trying... but keep blasting that horn I am having some fun now thinking what types of weapons you think you have on that behemoth.

hunger...

Ok so why does it seem when you know what you want in life you can't attain it? And I'm definitely not talking materialistic. Material wealth comes and goes and brings temporary happiness, it does help in maintaing your needs to survive in this brutal world. But yet I hunger for something, something that I have had a taste of before. And that hunger is for the love of a special woman. A woman that can make you feel like your not afraid of anything, a woman that can replenish your soul, a woman that pushes you to be the man you were always destined for. And a woman that can help you overcome those fears that haven't let you give that love back. I desire to find that woman... but it seems that life isn't ready to give her to me. So I have to keep pushing myself to move forward as hard as life pushes me down I have to learn to be able to be strong enough to endure what life pushes on me, so that when I do meet the woman of my dreams, she can see that I will be the man that she can lean on, and know that I'll always be there!

Ok so sorry the sappiness, but it is what I have rummaging through my mind!

Nasty November

Ok so its been a minute since I last posted something... I think my mind body and soul have been at war with each other. I have started to gain some peace. The fog of despair has started to lift and now I can now see my path. Its been a painful time for me, trying to figure out who I am, especially in dealing with some fierce hardships that have befallen me.
I have been a dormant shell of a man for a long time. People say that with death comes life, and now can I see. I have put to rest a part of me that has haunted me, that hasn't let me move on with my life. A part of me that was fearful, and full of doubt. The recent trails and tribulations of life have forced me to face my fears, face my doubts and move forward or perish in the bleak existence of this blind conformity.